"My social life, my physical and mental condition, and yes, even how I dressed all took a bit of a knock during that time. The T-Shirt or Golf Shirt and jeans was the standard dress for the IT people within the firm, except for management. I was pretty low. "
A colleague at work suggested that I come with him to church a few Sundays, when I could spare the time, so I went. The social aspect of it kept me going. Little by little, as I woke up to those around me, and the messages being delivered Sunday in and Sunday out, I realized it was time for a change. I also realized that, despite almost everyone else who took the time to prepare themselves aesthetically for Sunday service, I had stuck to my usual golf shirt and jeans routine. I stuck out like a sore thumb, and people noticed. My colleague always came to church well put-together. A suit or at very least a sports jacket/blazer, and a fresh pressed shirt. Soon there were nice ties being mixed in. I also noticed a change with him at work. He took a promotion, and then another one within 18 months. It seemed as though he kept upping his game in terms of his appearance. He even met a nice girl at church at things seemed to be going well. So finally I asked him what he was on to.
Over a long lunch he laid it all out. Five years previous he was where I was. The ritual of church forced him to interact with people, and looking presentable for it lit a fire under him to improve his appearance and other aspects of his life. He started buying a few dress shirts, a few pairs of trousers for church. People noticed. He started wearing them to work. People noticed. He started feeling more confident. People noticed. He started advocating for himself more and his appearance backed it up. People noticed. He added a few blazers and a suit into the mix. People really noticed. He started getting dressed up for dates, even a coffee date in the middle of the day. Women noticed.
I told him that when I was in Missouri, I had tried the whole “dress-up” thing. The shirts I bought at the large menswear store fell apart or frayed in the collar pretty quickly. The suit I bought for a buddy’s wedding lasted like 10 wears before starting to come apart. They cost me some money and I just figured I was done with it. That and, well, I’m a tall dude with wider shoulders and some of the shirts looked like spinnakers on me.
My friend told me that he was getting his clothes made now. Made for him. He introduced me to Lingo Luxe Bespoke, a company based all the way the heck in Canada, but that were made in Canada, by genuine craftspeople, not in sweat shops. He explained the process of measurements and how he got started. I took advantage of a special around Christmas time, I bought 3 shirts: white, light blue, darker blue. When I unboxed them and put them on, it lit something inside me: this was made for Me…Julius. So I ordered a blazer, navy blue, with nice contrasting buttons, button holes and peak lapels. I asked for it to be unstructured…I had the shoulders anyways.
When the blazer arrived I threw it on over my white shirt and went to church that Sunday. It seemed to garner some attention. More people engaged me, opened up a bit more, I was even invited to a BBQ the next Sunday at the Assistant Pastor’s house.
I used the online chat function on Lingo’s website and asked them to send me 3 ties, plain colour, that I could pair with my shirts and my blazer. They recommended 2 knit ties and one silk with a slight pattern to go with the white shirt. Those were a hit.
Remember my colleague who met a nice girl? He got engaged to her, and I needed a suit for the wedding. I took the plunge with Lingo and they delivered. I wanted something that could be worn in the Summer, but also for all four “Texas” seasons. I wound up with a mid-blue suit with a Super 150s fabric, it was slick, and I thought I was one of the best dressed there.
I started wearing all of these combinations to work and got some attention. A mid-level management job opened up and I applied. I wore the blazer, a pair of trousers from Lingo Luxe, and a knit tie (showing up in a suit for that job would have raised some questions…I’m IT after all), and I got the gig. My confidence and sense of self-worth was growing. I put myself out there a little more. I started doing some coding for the church website as a volunteer. I met a nice girl who also worked as a volunteer. She was running her own business and so I built her a website. That worked out pretty well so I started building sites for other people in my spare time. Two streams of income opened up some more opportunities. I kept adding a piece or two to my wardrobe from Lingo. Lingo staff, especially Andrew, were helpful in terms of translating my vision for a garment into reality. They made me feel great, and other people thought I looked pretty good as well.
By 2019 I had left the company and started my own business. I have a couple employees working under me and things seem to be going well. The lady I met volunteering and I have done pretty well so far, and are heading up to Oregon and Washington State for a Fall getaway structured around a conference I’m attending in Portland. I’ll be sure to pack some of my Lingo pieces for the trip - work and leisure.
Anyways, I guess all I have to say is: Thanks Andrew Frank. It’s been a heck of a ride for the last 2.5 years, but you’ve played a big part in making my transformation a reality. "
